She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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