Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
