and you said cock pushups were impossible
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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