we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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