Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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