I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
