Banned from zoo.
Again?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
