He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
