They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
