his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
