chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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