He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
