So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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