Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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