New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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