Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
