i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
