I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
