At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
