It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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