Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
