I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
