Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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