You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
