if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
