So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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