I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
