So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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