I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
