she looked like the before picture.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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