I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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