Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
