i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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