i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
