Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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