the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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