I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
