My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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