Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
