You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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