going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
