My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
