dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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