so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
