Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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