So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sext me about skeletons
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
