So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
