very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
