hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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