____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I love you. Go after that dick
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
