Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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