I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
