nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He felt like a one man threesome
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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